After all this has passed, I still will remainSometimes our "deserts" can seem overwhelming and it can feel like God is just out to get us. I've struggled a lot with resentment toward God for making me go through so much pain in my life while some people never have to deal with anything. My school guidance counselor told me that God was putting me through those things to teach me something that would be really important in my vocation and maybe not as important in someone else's vocation. This can seem really obnoxious-like, why can't God teach me patience by giving me an untrained puppy? But I've come to find out that the things that you remember often come with some sort of extreme experience-good or bad.
After I've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today, someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain
The other thing that stood out to me from this writing was "we cannot therefore know that we are acting at all, or primarily, for God's sake, unless the material of this action is contrary to our inclinations or (in other words) painful." This seems to contradict what Lewis said in his Our English Syllabus when he was talking about how God gives us passions for certain things and pursuing those passions are often following his will. These two contradictory statements left me in a very confused state and have me questioning what I'm doing here are Calvin. I don't really know what to take from that statement.
I guess God does allow some bad stuffs to happen in our life for our own good...
ReplyDeleteThat is indeed a hard thing to deal with. It doesn't seem fair that some people (like you) go through so much pain whereas others hardly go through any. What I do know is that God only gives us what we can handle - and in the end, no matter how hard it is to trust, we'll be rewarded for it. Hang in there! "We're all in this together" - High School Musical wooohooo!
ReplyDeleteThe fairness of the world is one of those things that i don't think we as human beings will never be able to understand in this life, and who knows if will even be able to understand it in the next, by then we won't really care I feel. You bring up a really interesting point with the English Syllabus. I definitely feel that God gives us passions in order for us to follow them, but I also think that sometimes God calls us to do things with those passions or things separate from those passions which we do not want to do. Remember that vocation involves both your passion and the world's need so that means you will be facing pain because the worlds needs are painful.
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