Eros

     In C.S. Lewis' book The Four Loves, he addresses four different kinds of love.  Our assignment was to read the section titled Eros, that is, the love between the sexes.  Lewis does a good job of looking at this kind of love from different angles.  One would expect this passage to be all about sexual attraction, but Lewis says "sexual experience can occur without Eros, without being 'in love,' and that Eros includes other things besides sexual activity."  Not too long ago, marriages were arranged early on in life between two children; they never had Eros in their relationship.  Lewis says "the times and places in which marriage depends on Eros are in a small minority."  I think this is important to note because, especially this day in age, we put so much emphasis on finding one's "soul mate" or a girl falling dramatically in love with her "knight in shining armor."  This "falling in love" may happen (I wouldn't know) but it doesn't last.  This part of love is a privilege some people get to experience for longer than others. But Lewis points out that "falling in love happens to us" but "being in love is something we do."  I think that if we are always in the state we are in when we first fell in love, marriage is going to be a huge disappointment because we will realize that our partner is indeed not perfect.
      Another thing that Lewis says that I think is important is that "sexual desire wants it, the thing in itself;  Eros wants the Beloved."  Often a man thinks he wants a woman, but really, he only needs her to get what he really wants-sex.  Lewis compares this to a packet of cigarettes, for "one does not keep the carton after one has smoked the cigarettes."  Eros is so much more than this "by-product" of sex; in Eros,  a man desires one particular woman and sees within her what is admirable, not just what he can get from her physically.  Lewis even says that "Eros, without diminishing desire, makes abstinence easier."
     Another thing that we talked about in class is the role of the man and woman in the marriage and I really liked the comparison Lewis makes with a husband being to his wife "what Christ is to the Church.  He is to love her as Christ loved the Church--and give his life for her."  Unfortunately, I don't know what it's like to have a father or a husband (working on that...) who is a strong leader in the household.  My mom had a rough time in high school and settled for the first guy she could get (I do still love my father, although I don't like how he treated my mother).  My father did not take the initiative and their marriage fell apart.  I'm not saying that all marriages with this problem fall apart, but without the husband taking this role, there is a greater strain on the relationship.  I've learned from my mother (and my grandparents who have been married over 50 years (:  ) to not settle, and to work hard in my relationships.  I think it is really important for us to figure out exactly what we want in a husband (or a wife) before we even start dating because it can be so easy to end up in relationships that don't work out.  There are going to be problems in every relationship but it's how you deal with them that determines if it's going to last.
    Finally, Lewis gives us the beautiful picture of what love should be:  "Eros never hesitates to say, "Better this that parting.  Better to be miserable with her than happy without her.  Let our hearts break provided they break together."  No one is ever going to get that fairy tale happy ending.  There are going to be many struggles.  A person whom you love is going to stick by your side while you're going through life's storms and come out stronger with you on the other side.  We need to want to be with that person "for better or worse, in sickness and in health...etc."  These vows are more than just words--the sickness and the "worse" are for real going to come.  "To be in love is both to intend and to promise fidelity."
   

Learning in War-Time

Lewis addresses an issue in this book that I have spent a lot of time thinking about.  Why am I spending all my time and money at Calvin when the rest of the world is starving and dying without knowing about God? 
     The first point that stood out to me is stated as "The war creates no absolutely new situation:  it simply aggravates the permanent human situation so that we can no longer ignore it."  Lewis goes on to say that "If men had postponed the search for knowledge and beauty until they were secure the search would never have begun."  If we are going to wait for the whole world to be fed and at peace before we pursue an education, it is simply never going to happen, because we cannot create for ourselves heaven on earth-it will never happen. 
     Also, I would like to point out that by attending Calvin (although opposed to those who believe/get caught up in the Calvin "bubble") I don't think that we are ignoring the pain of the world.  We all know that attendance at Calvin does not make you a Christian and does not isolate you from the pain of the world.  There are many ways we can respond and reach out to people in the Calvin community AND beyond without even leaving the Calving campus.  If we look at the incident that happened last year in NVW with the pop bottle bomb, we know that the media is ready to pounce on Calvin if they receive any evidence of foul-play.  This puts a lot of pressure on our community.  But I think that we can show the love of Christ through things like that by the ways we respond to criticism from the outside as well as the ways we take care of each other within our community.  In the same way, Lewis says that "Christianity does not simply replace our natural life and substitute a new one: it is rather a new organization which exploits, to its own supernatural ends, these natural materials."
    Lewis goes on to talk about our "upbringing, talents, and circumstances are usually a tolerable index of our vocation."  If God wants us to do something with our lives, he will provide the resources and opportunities to get there.  He often leads us by putting certain passions in our hearts-sometime this appetite is for more knowledge-and "God makes no appetite in vain."  If I have an overflowing passion for biology, that's probably a good indication that God is calling me to study biology.  "The learned life is, for some, a duty."
     Finally, I really like the quote "The only people who achieve much are those who want knowledge so badly that they seek it while the conditions are still unfavorable.  Favorable conditions never come."  Sometimes you have to dive into something you don't have the resources for and pray that God will provide the rest that you need to finish.  If He doesn't provide, then maybe you're doing the wrong thing.

Plantinga Ch. 4: Redemption

This chapter offered a bit more encouragement than the last.  One of the quotes that stuck out to me was when Plantinga was talking about Jesus being the "perfect penitent" and how he "absorbed evil without passing it on."  What would the world look like if we "absorbed evil without passing it on?"  I think this goes along with the part of the Beatitudes that says, "blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you for my sake."  This is the very thing that Jesus did, but he also absorbed our debts and paid for them in full.  Jesus refused to return evil with evil and instead offers love and forgiveness.  This reminds me of a quote by Martin Luther King Jr.: 

           “Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend. We never get rid of an enemy by meeting hate with hate; we get rid of an enemy by getting rid of enmity. By its very nature, hate destroys and tears down; by its very nature, love creates and builds up. Love transforms with redemptive power” (Strength to Love).  

     I also was struck by "Everybody wants liberty.  The problem is that everybody wants it on his own terms."  This is of course talking about the liberty we receive in Christ-liberty from our sins.  Many times I pray, asking God for forgiveness and for help in living a better life from now on.  The problem is, I go about doing all the things I want, the way I want to do them.  Many people get confused with the verses that say "faith without works is dead" but "good works alone can't get you to heaven."  This is where the terms justification and sanctification come in.  Justification is the when we become free from our sins.  If that justification means anything to us as Christians, we will follow it up with sanctification-that is, becoming more Christ-like.  We often want all the benefits of Christianity (eternal life) without having to live a Christian life.  Every single day we need to die to ourselves, and become alive again in Christ. 
    We also need to constantly grow in our relationship with Christ-by "trying on our grown-up clothes."  If we clothe ourselves with the virtues of Christ every day, eventually they will fit.  This is how we become like Christ.  Every time we win a battle for God, whether it be in our mind or in our actions, these "clothes" fit a little bit better.